Heaven on Earth Part II

To Russell

2005-02-28T19:12:00.000-08:00

Dear Russell,
I'm sorry I'm only telling you this now, when things are far too fucked up to ever get back under control, but at least I am being honest. I have not always been honest to my friends when I talk about you, but it's just because I was afraid of what we had. You were way too nice and supportive of me, and I told you that, but I never really understood it myself. It's the saddest thing to think that only now am I really comprehending what you meant to me. Being with you was like the most intense feeling of being home I have ever felt, and I will stick to that no matter what happens between you and I from here on out.
I don't really know if you dislike me now, or wish I never would have met you, but I think every moment we had together (the good and bad) was worth the past two months entirely. I don't want to end our relationship on such a harsh and definite note but that's what you seem to want, so I can't stop you. I just want you to know that I honestly care for you and most likely always will, no matter what I say. I hope I can see you again, without all this negativity once more. But I guess that's up for me to decide.
-Jessica

T$ on jokes

2005-01-16T15:23:00.000-08:00

deadbrotherman: you would fuck your aunt too
deadbrotherman: and then you would fuck your mom
deadbrotherman: EWW!!
PigPen668: haha
deadbrotherman: ...kidding haha
PigPen668: its always like funny.... then you just go to far and people look at you weird and kinda back away
PigPen668: i do that too... when i call people "baby-fuckers"
PigPen668: hehehe
deadbrotherman: hahaha i know!
deadbrotherman: like i keep going and going
deadbrotherman: and then its dead silence and a tumble weed rolls by
deadbrotherman: and im like, umm...i didn't mean that
PigPen668: hahahaha
deadbrotherman: and then i fall on the floor and have convulsions
PigPen668: aww theresa
deadbrotherman: haha
PigPen668: you know i love it when you go to far with your jokes
deadbrotherman: haha!! oh well thank you, honey bunches of oats
PigPen668: its just disturbingly cute
deadbrotherman: i try to go to far, just for you
PigPen668: YAY
deadbrotherman: just so you're the only person laughing so you look dumb and then i run away so it looks like you're retarded
PigPen668: haha.... wait...

To all of those it may concern...

2005-01-16T14:43:00.000-08:00

Well, I had another boring weekend but eh, what more was to be expected? I got to thinking though, when I was reading Amanda's journal, jesus fucking christ do people love amanda. but its understandable, shes a fucking sweet, caring person and genuine too. same with theresa. shes funny as hell and seems to be the only person on this earth with the ability to take a joke anymore. then theres laura, my god i think if laura wasnt alive at this moment in my life i would have been dead a long time ago. shes just that nice to EVERYONE. its CRAAAAZY.
and molli... dear god. i AM the mini-molli, and shes still my fucking hero. like someone i can really fucking understand. for gods sake i went to europe with her, she was my stand-in mother... for like a week... and she STILL likes me. its amazing. I HEART POE!!!!
god... then theres emerson, shes like my little stoner friend who doesnt smoke pot which, might i say is radical. and dominique... lord knows i would have lost my mind sometime last week if it wasnt for our little talks and walks... goddamn i was a poet and i didnt know it. heh...

DAMN... im so glad i have you kickass people. go eat a cookie or something... you deserve it. and when this month of suck ends expect a call... a big call full of LOVE just for you. OH YEAH BABY!! especially molli... dammit i love you. hmm.... yay for all of you! im taking a shower.

2005-01-11T10:03:00.000-08:00

Hmmmm.... I know I haven't posted anything in forever, so I can't complain that nobody looks at this thing anymore because they'd be looking at the same thing every time.

Anyways, everyone bow down to Amanda and look at her livejournal (www.livejournal.com/users/amandabnkface41/) and admire the pretty pictures. Yes, they are gorgeous, I know. Someone needs to give me that site by the way.

Yay, for Molli and Theresa. According to them I'm a skater kid (or as Molli puts it "a skate slut"). Which is always fun to hear, because it helps my little emo feelings so. Hehe...

My little life is alright now, I guess. Nothing I cant handle, but I definately am going through my big emo phase right now. Complete with big emo music and big emo hair and big emo feelings. But like I said, its a phase and the music and hair thing will go away... dunno about the feelings though. Oh well, fuck it, I'm dating a big emo kid (whom I love) so what's to be expected...

*sigh* I must go finish my digital journal.... bleh

2004-11-26T12:36:00.000-08:00

WHATS UP!!!
i woke up today in an uncommonly good mood. one of those weird moods were you just want to dance. yes, DANCE. so i have been. alot. its great.
anyways, dealing with the last entry i think i will stay in salem because i really dont think i would fit in at davie. its not that i would be an outcast or anything i just think the whole vibe bores me. at least at salem there are plenty of fucking crazy bitches i can chill with. and i love me some crazy bitches, almost more than sleep. but given a choice i would pick the bitches because theyre just more fun.
alright im going to do something AWESOME, bye you fools!!

p-r-o-c-r-a-s-t-i-n-a-t-i-o-n

2004-11-09T18:49:00.000-08:00

Yes its late and I'm supposed to be doing.... whatever. Oh well, im in a big emo mood and remembered i had a blog. because you know i forget all the time. well im seriously contemplating going to davie next year because salem is really getting to me. honestly, i dont think ive ever been as exhausted in my life. theres no way to get out of it either, weekends are always parties and the weeks are full of school. theres no time for any fucking sleep! and i looove me some sleep... well i still dont know because everyone always says that they arent coming back but the majority does and they dont regret it. still i dont know. i forgot what pulic school was like, weirdly enough and i dont even remember if i liked it or not. oh well, i cant do anything about it this year ill think about it some other time.

Yay for friends!

2004-10-18T19:25:00.000-07:00

I dont even want to go into detail of my weekend because there was nothing important or interesting, besides the fact I talked to Amanda R at the game... which didn't go over too well. But OH WELL thats depressing, and since Im in a good mood we'll not go into that.
I would, however, like to thank everyone (including Chris, Sarah E, Will Poe, AJ, Sarah Barah, Theresa, and especially Molli) for being uber-nice to me while I was sad. It means alot that you understood my temporary emoness.

ALL THE AMAZINGLY NICE THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID TO ME TODAY!!:
deadbrotherman: i love yee
deadbrotherman: just wanted to let you know

PigPen668: everyones being so nice today
PigPen668: it makes me feel alot better
sSpRoFeSsIoN: i love you
sSpRoFeSsIoN: netime
sSpRoFeSsIoN: i like being nice :-)

Slerta: you're neat.
Slerta: :-)

poekennedy: if we both had penises, you would be my gay love partner of choice jessica

Slerta: you deserve to be happy.
Slerta: you are swelltastic

AND OF COURSE THE FUNNIEST THING TONIGHT:
Slerta: choclate cake
Slerta: is
Slerta: like
Slerta: jim morrison
Slerta: naked in your bed
Slerta: and
Slerta: alive
PigPen668: im glad you added that last part

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! YOU GIVE ME THAT FUNNY FEELING INSIDE! hmmm... well maybe not....

I love you Russ.

Meow!!

2004-10-11T01:16:00.000-07:00

Mighty Molli Mouse and Old Man Carol are here with me this beautiful night and it has so far been sweet as hell. No complaints seriously.... Napolean Dynamite might be the funniest movie ever made, but then again Team America- World Police hasn't come out yet so I might be mistaken...

whats up motherfuckers this is molli, jess is currently having a little window party with the c-meister. man, i fucking love these people. jess just said that me and carol should crash here every weekend and i freaking couldn't agree more. whoa i went from fucking to freaking in one sentence. apparently i grew a conscience. and/or morals. but, the balls are still intact, so dont even worry about that. anyway, much love to t-money and amanda, because they are the sexiest bitches alive. as of tonight. although, their aint no love in this motherfucker, their aint no love for you or your other brother. I GOT THIS KILLER UP INSIDE OF ME, I CANT TALK TO MY MOTHER SO I TALK TO MY DI-ARY. one, two, three, four, FIF. i plede the fizzif. i have a secret document to show you... FIF. okay. i'm done. one love. "okay i love you too."

You supersonic rockers of satan! you want sum crack? I got cracks o all kinds blood. We straight hoodin right now my fuckers. Jessica's doin little bit of diss...whoooole lotta dis she crazy yo...oh this is Carol..Me and J wanna punch the shit outa someone right now. MMEEEOOOWWW( scary lil kid from The Grudge man) "I had a dream you were a dick last night" - why did you have a dream I was an asshole? " no I was the asshole". Screw you bitches... I'm goin' home. My hoodie still smells like a mexican restaurant. J and Money have the cutest window butts ever! JESUS JESUS JESUS I have hiccups like a bitch..a bitch with hiccups...bad ones.

Yay for the crazy motherfucking crackheads at my house right now. You , call me, when you get this. Alright? Okay.... Ill be waiting. Bitch.

"My grandma is yo mama!!"

2004-10-04T19:54:00.000-07:00

Wow anyone have a great weekend? Anyone have a craaaaazy weekend? Oh, I did. I assure you that last weekend was a 48 hour+ non-stop party to the extreme. yes EXTREME!!!
Yeah for those who decided not to join....

Friday= THE FAIR! everyone and their cousin was there and it was crazy. Britt and I peed behind an RV, Brandon fell on his head, and Molli and Britt and I made up a song. Thats pretty much the major events even though everything was fun that night. Britt spent the night which was amazing since i havent seen her in like a year and please believe, I missed her alot.
Saturday= Borders! Hmmm.... I dunno what happened there. But it was crazy!!! I'm so very paranoid my mom will read this, that I'm not going to leave the details of that night unsaid; but you can ask me and I will be willing to tell you ALL about the mad awesomeness.
Sunday= Molli time! Yes we spent the whole day together... frolicking in the daisies and cuddling. Actually no that was my emo child on the inside wishing that would have happened.

ANYWAYS! I love you and I hope youre weekend was as kickass as mine bitches!

Alright day

2004-09-30T16:56:00.000-07:00

Today wasn't half bad... besides the little bad moods I was in and out of through the day it wasnt half bad. Tiffany is now driving me to school so I dont have to fuck with my parents in the mornings anymore. YAY!! She's cool as hell too, so i think it's gonna work out just fine.

I currently have a contest to see if anyone can take a picture of themselvse that is worse than the "bald baby" picture I have of me. I would post it on here but I don't think I would ever hear the end of it, besides I dont have a scanner so too bad for you! But yeah winner of said contest will get a cookies or a candy bar, but I know that I will win so... YAY I get cookies!

Alright have a righteous day!

Yay for Dustin and Alex!

2004-09-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

Alright so I was having a real fucked up day today, but then Molli called me and it got a little better... alright so it got alot better. But after that it jut got crappy again cause i already finished my homework and I had nothing to do, not even Molli can fix the chronic boredom of Salem. So I was moping around, being all emo until I get a ring on my doorbell. Who is it but Dustin and Alex, there to surprise me. Impeccable timing, am i right? Well they just hung out for a while and it was great, especially because I thought Alex hated me. Obviously he doesn't and he compensated for it with a big hug. It was awesome, so that combined with a call from Molli TOTALLY made up for my shitty day at school and elsewhere. (Yay for big words, right.)

Oh yes, THIS BLOG IS OFFICIALLY DEDICATED TO MOLLI AND HER AWESOMENESS! Because 1) she made the fecking thing, 2) shes awesome, and 3) she seems to be the only person (other than Theresa and Sam and I love them too) that actually read the fecking thing.
Yes, and I said fecking because it sounds British, which is cool... in a gay way.

Righty, so I'm out... comment if you want to be added to the list of coolness currently being made in my brain.

shitty weekend

2004-09-27T14:34:00.000-07:00

Wow, thanks for all the lovely lovely comments. You guys just make me want to go listen to some DASHBOARD!! umm..... not really.
Anyways, this weekend kinda sucked. No wait, scratch that. Saturday night sucked cause I had to stay at my house the entire night. The rest of the week however was craaaazy, like massive amounts of crazy that would blow your mind if you even knew what happened.
Sounds like Carol had a crazy week to, by what she said to me while we were on a walk. God bless Carol, she's kinda scar when you don't really know her but once you do you'll think she's one kickass chick. Yeah I said chick so shoot me.

I know for a fact however that if Theresa and I don't get together on Saturday somebody's head will roll. Because she promised me we would chill last weekend, but we didn't and it was cool, but if it happens again... I dunno..... but it will be horrible!!!!! well homework calls...

theresa rocks

2004-09-22T15:15:00.000-07:00

THERESA KICKS OBSCENE AMOUNTS OF ASS!!

2004-09-19T20:52:00.000-07:00

This has been one of the best weekends in quite a long time, thanks to Molli, Carol, Theresa, Kate, Arlane, Georgia, Eryn, and everyone who was at my party. Ill just go through a little recap...

Friday I spent the day with Amanda since we hadnt seen each other and we got everything straight between us. then we watched horrendously sad movies about the civil war and Amanda cried like... I dunno, I've never seen anyone get so hysterical over a movie before.

Saturday was great because I went to battle of the bands at reynolds. yeah me and Molli and Carol and Anna had some crazy fun there. then Russell picked me up and took me to Borders, then to get some chicken with Shuan, Brandon, and Micheal. somehow everyone including Diego and Dustin got back to my house where Dustin proceeded to pee in front of my house. I dunno why...

Sunday was my party, and I feel sorry for everyone who was invited and decided not to come because it kicked ass. we ate pizza, drank some special coke, played spoons, and listened to Flogging Molly. whoever thinks thats not fucking great has no perseption of fun at all. now im just sitting back thinking about how great it was.

the only bad thing is that I have an overwhelming feeling that "somethings gotta go wrong cause Im feeling way too damn good" (fucking Nickelback... theyre playing on the radio as I was typing that) but seriously Im getting paranoid about that, I just pray that I and Nickelback are wrong.

2004-09-18T22:24:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Molli the Great (and yes that is her name so everytime you see her from now on adress her as Molli the Great) I know have a new, almost-emo-layout blog that is dedicated, as always, to you. Yes, you! Don't you feel pretty?

I guess I'll pick up where the old blog left off....

To certain persons who recently got in trouble and are now angry at each other... Don't be angry, this isn't the end of the world, and friendships should not be ruined because of it. Everyones really stressed right now and people are saying on the spur of the moment, and......... I love you. Alot. So everyone should be happy.
And if you aren't happy then you have sex with babies... and I will still love you.

Yeah. Uncalled for? I know.
Comment if you know whats good for you. :)

2004-09-18T11:46:00.000-07:00

this is jessica's new blog because the other one died. enjoy you ungrateful fuckheads!

and jessica, you're the shit. what can I say, I love you dude. to put it in the most emo-fascist way.

YOU ARE, ALWAYS WILL BE, AND ALWAYS CAN BE THE SHIT. AND EVERYONE ELSE IS JEALOUS OF YOUR

SEXUAL PROWESS.



something not fruity-sounding,

molli